I wish I knew I how to do this.
Trust me, this is not a humblebrag. You know when you ask someone how they’re doing and they reply, “BUSY!”? Then they proceed to talk for twenty minutes about how busy they are?
I used to do the BUSY thing all the time when I lived in Los Angeles. I broke out of that habit after living here a few years. When Italians ask, “how are you?”, they really want to know. It’s a conversation starter, not an opportunity to brag about how much work you do. Nobody wants to hear that mess unless you are at a work conference or something.
While I have calmed down a bit since my big move, I still find myself feeling guilty for not working all the time. I know there are people who never stop. I did that during my Hollywood years but had nothing to show for it other than missed weddings back east, stress, and debt.
So I know I wasn’t healthy or happy during that time yet August in Rome continues to freak me out. This week my vendors are closing up for the summer. There is nothing I can do regarding deliveries, invoices, my projects, etc.
Last year when I went to Salina, I had a view like this,
but I was constantly checking my emails and on the phone with my clients. However, that was in June. August is another story.
In August I’m forced to slow down so why can’t I just chill the heck out without feeling guilty about it? One of my favorite designers, Erin Gates of ELEMENTS OF STYLE, wrote a fantastic POST about the pressure we Americans put on ourselves to do it all.
It’s madness. I told myself that this year would be different. It’s not. It’s only the 6th and instead of reveling in the summer, I want September to get here already.
My local caffe and many of my favorite restaurants are shutting down this week. Only the places catering to tourists will be opened. Most of my friends are gone and the rest are leaving next week. Tumbleweeds will roll down Lungotevere.
I should try to follow my dad’s example. He was an incredibly hard worker but he also knew how to relax. He truly appreciated the little vacation and down time he had. My mom also worked hard but NEVER relaxed. Even on her days off from work she was going, going, going. I used to think I was a combination of the two but no, I’m more like my mom. There’s always something that must be done.
I have my own company. You’d think I would be able to give myself a break and/or vacation. No, instead I think if don’t burn the candle at both ends I won’t be able to succeed, which means I won’t be able to pay my rent, therefore I will end up living under the Ponte Sisto bridge.
Okay, this summer I am going to break the cycle, dammit! I must do it for my mental, physical, and creative health.
We’ll see how the rest of the year shapes up as I start my quest to partake in the fine Italian tradition of Dolce Far Niente.