Arrivederci 2020!

Greetings from the Caribbean!  There’s still no liming.  

I clearly remember many of my friends saying that they were glad to see 2019 go and 2020 couldn’t be worse.  Well, what can I say?  2020 showed up and showed out.   

While I’m very fortunate not to have lost any friends or family because of Covid, several people I know have (mostly in Los Angeles). 

I’m not going to recap this dumpster fire of a year.

I will say that my worst fears, the things that kept me up at night, happened.  All of them.  At once.  But I’m still here.   

It’s freeing in a bizarre way.   

Who knows what the heck 2021 will bring?  I cannot control what’s happening in the world, only how I react to it. 

I’ve neglected this poor blog.  I would like to write on here more often in 2021.  I know I should have a scheduled time to post and what not.   Nope, that’s not going to happen.   

I’ve read that blogs are dead.  I think it depends on the reason why one blogs or reads them.  I’ve missed blogging to be honest.  I find that sometimes my Instagram captions are way too long and would probably make more sense as a blog post.  

The last few years have been a bit of blur which is one reason I haven’t blogged as much.  I might get into why another time, I’m still processing.  Everything came to a grinding halt earlier this year. Completely.  I spent many days during our severe lockdown sitting on my parents’ veranda freaking out.  I’m a woman of a certain age and was wondering “is this it? Is this what I’ve been busting my butt for, for all these years, only to end up here?!”  I’m not the only one.  

That I’m single and have no children of my own added to this sense of feeling I haven’t hit important benchmarks.  Never mind that I didn’t create these benchmarks but I felt the pressure nevertheless. 

I have a bad habit of saying/thinking, “okay once A happens, I can then do B or B will happen.”  As if I’m constantly on hold.  I’m not sure where this comes from.  I can be a bit of a perfectionist but that’s not it.  I’m not writing New Year’s Resolutions but I do know that one thing I want to work on is being more present.  Sorry, I know that’s kind of woo-woo!  What’s nuts is that I’ve actually improved since moving to Italy.  Clearly, I still need to work on this. 

I want to lean hard into my creativity and see what happens.  I’ve been so stressed out about what’s going on in the world, my work, and my financial hardships that it’s taken a beating.  I have no idea what (or how) my intention will look like moving forward but I’m excited about figuring it out. 

There are going to be some big changes in 2021.  

Happy New Year!